Ordinary Gratitude

She fell but she didn't break!

I am so grateful that my mom is still walking and talking and moving around today. You see, this tough 85-year-old woman fell down a small set of stairs yesterday. I'm also grateful she has strong bones. She's bruised and sore, but doing okay. I'll take her to the doctor early this week when I can get an appointment just to check everything out. I'm sure he'll want to get some x-rays. For now, I'm just grateful she was able to get up and go to church.

Read the entire story at my other blog: Life with my Mom.

The road to happiness

Our minds are as different as our faces. We are all traveling to one destination: happiness, but few are going by the same road. ~~ Charles C. Colton

Destination happiness, joy, bliss – all aboard! This is one train I do enjoy being on no matter what it looks like. I get an image of the Polar Express on its journey to the North Pole on Christmas Eve going through all kinds of terrain and adventures and finally arriving to a joyous celebration. The journey itself is a celebration the more I continue to accept all the gifts of Spirit along the way and appreciate the beauty and symmetry of the process. I had all kinds of conversations about acceptance of what is yesterday. It’s great to keep talking about it because it keeps me in the energy and awareness that there really is nothing to resist; that’s just shadow boxing. It’s all God, it’s all good and I am filled with gratitude and appreciation.

via turnitaroundproject.blogspot.com

What does your road to happiness look like? What obstacles are in the way? Are these obstacles real or imaginary? What does the scenery look like? Is it lush and green, cold and frozen, or barren and empty? What route are you taking? Are you traveling alone, or is someone on the journey with you? What does the destination look like? Will someone be there waiting for you? 

If you can get a clear picture of what your version of happiness is, you may find that the path to getting there is smoother and shorter than you realized. In fact, you may discover that you're already there.

Gratitude: Positive Psychology in Practice

Positive Psychology researchers are confirming in study after study that regular demonstrations of gratitude will make you happier and healthier. Positive Psychology research focuses on the study of well-being, what makes people happier, fulfilled, and engaged in life. Researchers find that the simple act of gratitude, when regularly practiced, makes a significant improvement in people's lives.

What Is Gratitude?

In a recent interview by Senia Maymin carried in the International Positive Psychology Association Newsletter of April, 2008, Dr. Alex Wood, a postgraduate researcher in the Department of Psychology, University of Warwick, defines gratitude this way: "Gratitude is a life orientation towards noticing and appreciating the positive in the world. As such, gratitude is an integral part of well-being. Gratitude can be contrasted with a depressive bias - where depressed people focus on the negative in the self, world, and future. A grateful personality leads to well-being during everyday life."

Gratitude and Good Health

University of California Davis psychology professor Robert Emmons indicates that "Grateful people take better care of themselves and engage in more protective health behaviors like regular exercise, a healthy diet, (and) regular physical examinations." His research finds that grateful people tend to be more optimistic, a characteristic that boosts the immune system.

Begin the Day with Gratitude

David Pollay, in "A Daily Dose of Awe and Gratitude" (Positive Psychology News Daily, March 3, 2007) describes a process of beginning each day with a few moments spent in awe of something beautiful or fascinating, and feeling gratitude for the experience.

University of Virginia Psychologist Jonathan Haidt and Dacher Keltner, University of California-Berkeley Psychology professor, noted that "People consistently report that experiences of awe and elevation have profound outcomes, motivating self-improvement, personal change, altruistic intentions and actions, and the devotion to others and the larger community." (Character Strengths and Virtue, Christopher Peterson and Martin Seligman)

via changing-personal-habits.suite101.com

Mom's Zucchini Bread

Oh my! As I worked in my office yesterday afternoon, the heavenly smell of freshly baked zucchini bread drifted through the house! The wonderful scent of sugar and spices was overwhelming. At that moment I was so very grateful that my elderly mother lives with me... and that she loves to bake!

Mom's zucchini bread is legendary. She gives loaves away to her favorite people and mails them to family members across the country. Some folks are not worthy of an entire loaf (like valets at the casino or the guy who trimmed the bushes), but are fortunate enough to score a slice or two in lieu of a monetary tip. My husband and I call it Manna from Heaven because she has so many stories about surviving long plane flights or traffic delays with nothing to eat but zucchini bread. 

Last summer I planted zucchini in my garden just so Mom would be able to bake her favorite nut bread. Everyday I'd go out and check the progress in the garden. I'd carry in a giant green squash to be peeled, ground up, packaged and tucked away in the freezer for a winter day of baking.

I'm so happy and appreciative that yesterday was one of those days! This morning I enjoyed a hot cup of chai and a big slice of zucchini bread while I caught up on the news.

Thanks Mom!

Frost on the Grass

This morning I woke up to fog and frost. The white crunchy grass reminded me of how much I loved walking on frosted grass when I was a kid. I'd look back and see footprints where the frost had melted as I stepped. It was a pleasant memory that I'm grateful to have had today.

Good manners

"Saying thank you is more than good manners. It is good spirituality." ~ Alfred Painter

The other day, when my husband and I were out for a "date night" dinner, we noticed the cutest little girl at a nearby table. When the waitress brought a glass of chocolate milk to the table, her parents asked (like so many parents do), "What do you say?" As she prepared to put a straw into the glass, the little girl looked at them, then at the waitress, and said quietly, "Thank you." The parents smiled and beamed their approval as the waitress smiled and gave the obligatory response: "You're welcome."

My husband and I discussed the scene we had just witnessed, both of us agreeing that it was nice that the parents were teaching their daughter good manners. But I wondered if good manners are good enough. Is saying "thank you" an expression of true gratitude, or just a way of gaining approval? Is saying "thank you" a way of hedging our bets in the hope of getting something more later?

I suppose the answer is "D. All of the above." We say "thank you" for a variety of reasons.

Teaching children to say "thank you" is easy. Teaching them to be grateful is more complicated, but it may be more important. 

Gratitude is one of the trickiest concepts to teach toddlers and preschoolers -- who are by nature self-centered -- but one of the most important. Sure, thankful children are more polite and pleasant to be around, but there's more to it than that. By learning gratitude, they become sensitive to the feelings of others, developing empathy and other life skills along the way, says Barbara Lewis, author of What Do You Stand For? For Kids (Free Spirit Publishing, 2005). Grateful kids look outside their one-person universe and understand that their parents and other people do things for them -- prepare dinner, dole out hugs, buy toys. "On the flip side, kids who aren't taught to be grateful end up feeling entitled and perpetually disappointed," says Lewis. [Parents.com: Teaching Children to be Grateful]

Children model their parents, so the best place to start teaching gratitude is by demonstrating it in your everyday life. Be sure to say "please" and "thank you" when you talk to your children. Work the concept of gratitude into your conversations. At family meals, practice going around the table and saying what you are grateful for that day. 

Be patient; gratitude won't develop overnight. In the long run, you'll find that it's well worth the time and effort. By instilling a sense of gratitude, your child will likely be happier, healthier and more well-rounded teens and adults.

For more techniques on teaching appreciation, read Teaching Gratitude in the Early Years.

Boost your career by saying "thank you"

Say "thank you" as often you can. Sadly, gratitude is not that common. You can be uncommon, and memorable, simply by sending a thank-you note whenever it's warranted. When you can, regularly (and sincerely) thank your coworkers, your customers, your suppliers, your boss, your friends, your enemies. The appreciation you reap can only help you. Plus, looking for the positive puts you in a positive frame of mind and that is a good thing.

From 10 Essential career resolutions for 2010 via news.myjoyonline.com

Nancy, a previous boss, was always ready to say "thank you" for whatever work I did. One day I asked her why she was thanking me since I was just doing my job. "I appreciate you 'just doing your job'," she told me, "and I want you to know that." Nancy taught me the importance of expressing gratitude at the office. I know that I was willing to work harder and go the extra mile because my boss recognized my effort -- and said so.

Thank you, Nancy, for showing me the value of saying "thank you" at the office.

How often do you say "thank you" at work? Is there anyone you would like to thank, but haven't?

Phone call from NYC

Today's post is an easy one to write. I'm so grateful that my nephew living in New York City called my mom this morning. It's amazing how much she brightened up while she was talking with him. It means so much to her to know that someone is thinking of her. I truly appreciate my nephew taking the time out of his day today just to call her and say hello.

Thanks Dylan!

Nurturing the soul

"If you concentrate on finding whatever is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul."

-- Rabbi Harold Kushner

Doing Laundry in Iraq

I may not like doing laundry much, but I am grateful to have the convenience of a washer and dryer at home, especially after reading the article below:

A shower, laundry and clothing repair team provides daily laundry operations for the roughly 500 Soldiers and civilian contractors stationed at Contingency Operating Location Poliwoda, Iraq.

The laundry point processes roughly 250 bundles a day, said Spc. Winston Ryan, a textile service specialist with the 263rd QM Company.

Bundles can consist of as little as one set of ACUs or a set of sheets, said Ryan, a North Platt, Neb., native. The SLCR team puts 25 to 30 bundles into the LADS, roughly 200 pounds of laundry, to make up each load, he said.

The gratitude of patrons is obvious when they receive their clean laundry, said Sgt. Jake Rademacher. "One of the best things about this job is the level of appreciation that you get from the Soldiers you support," he said.

The SLCR team provides clean uniforms and socks, which alone should earn them high praise, said Capt. Ronald Opperman, the personnel officer with 1st Battalion, 28th Infantry Regiment and an Oklahoma City native.

"They keep us clean and we love what they do for us," he said.

Rademacher said the importance of clean laundry is essential to the day to day mission of the personnel they support. Without a laundry facility, service members would have to find their own means to wash clothes, he said, which could lead to substandard hygiene.

via waronterrornews.typepad.com

I didn't think much about laundry in Iraq. In fact, I really haven't thought much about how they handle the day-to-day activities we take for granted here at home. Please read more about the laundry service for our soldiers in Iraq at War on Terror News.

I am so thankful to be able to throw my dirty laundry in a big pile until I'm ready to wash it. My electric washer shares space with my electric dryer, conveniently located in its own room next to the family room. When it comes right down to it, laundry isn't a terribly difficult job, but it's not one I enjoy much. However, from this point forward, when I think of this story I might just put the clothes into the wash tub with a bit more care or take more time to get the wrinkles out when folding the t-shirts and jeans. And with a little extra gratitude, I may learn to like doing laundry.